Six Steps for Managing Job Search Stress
Millions of people have lost jobs in this economy and finding a new one is full of stress. Let’s talk about managing the stress of a job search. Anyone who is in this situation, or loves someone who is, might consider these six suggestions.
Step One – Do not internalize a job loss or job search into your personal identity. Whether you are a new graduate or a semi-retired person whose savings was cut in half this year, you are not in this situation because of your personal failure. In November, 2009 The Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that 15.4 million people were out of work. A lot of good people lost their jobs.
Step Two – Remember those things you do well. Looking for work often erodes confidence, lowers self-esteem, and makes people forget how terrific they are at many other things. For example if your job as a high school teacher was terminated but you have always enjoyed fixing up old furniture for resale, now is the time to remember that talent and crank it up a notch. If your hobby is photography, engage in it more fully; it will reduce stress hormones, relax other parts of the brain, and you’ll be more on top of your game when your next interview or opportunity is in front of you.
Step Three – Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the old job so you don’t succumb to paralyzing fear searching for a new one. Also, one loss in life often resurrects other losses unconsciously so if you went through the painful death of a loved one, a divorce, or loss of good health, those losses get mixed together with the loss of employment.
Also think about what you miss in the old job (besides the income, which I appreciate is important) because knowing what you miss clarifies what you should look for. For example, if you enjoyed the camaraderie at your old job in a small IT consulting business, working at a company with 100 consultants probably won’t do. If you liked working in a non-profit consider how you might do some part time work with another even if the kind of institution is different. Outside the box thinking works really well so be creative here.
Step Four - Initiate positive and proactive things such as volunteering. Helping out someone else keeps us from dwelling on ourselves. Become active in a church, a temple, a synagogue even if you never did before. Managing stress often starts with openness to new ideas and being part of a supportive community. The Devine plan is generous and thinking spiritually will keep you more hopeful.
I also recommend diligent networking and not simply relying on only one type of resource. By that I mean don’t just spend 8 hours a day sending out your resumes on Monster or going to the post office. You need to have direct contact with people. Pick up Tony Beshara’s book "Job Search Solution" for some great practical ideas here. If you have a few extra dollars hire a coach to keep you accountable and encouraged because it’s a daily challenge to keep your heart up and stick to a plan if someone doesn’t ask you what is your weekly plan and strategy. Don’t forget to look to some of your friends or relatives, too; because they might have a skill they could teach you. It’s amazing what can happen when we start to ask around. Also take advantage of any free service in your community for learning and support and again ask around for where these places are. We all need connection just living life but more so when we’re out of work.
Step Five – Ask yourself if you are angry and anxious. Ask others if you appear angry or anxious. You need your friends or your mate right now so turn toward them not against them. If you are angry, commit to working through your anger and managing your anxiety. Unprocessed anger and unacknowledged anxiety can hurt you in an interview and in all relationships. Why? Because your underlying attitude about the old job loss comes across in body language and in your answers during an interview. When I find I’m stuck in a place of anger or anxiety I try to consider what new door wants to open in me that I may have never known was there before. I also try to let go of needing to control a situation that is not in my control. God grant us all serenity here.
Step Six – Consider a health checkup and talk with your doctor about your circumstances; he or she is there to help. If you can’t afford one, look to your community which often provides services during tough times. You may even benefit from a temporary medication due to serotonin depletion which sometimes occurs when we’re hit with major stress or loss. The brain is a body part, too, and it gets tired and sometimes needs temporary assistance.
In closing, looking for another job invites creative thinking and resourcefulness but those qualities are just some of the great strengths we either have naturally or we can learn! So remember not to internalize your job loss into your personal identity, focus on all the things you do well, let yourself grieve your old job and other losses and accept your feelings right where they are. Also, be encouraged that the economy is picking up so catch a cat nap now. Not only can 20 winks assist you in making Every Day Matter but you won’t have a chance to nap once you land that new position.
Tags: hope, job search, job search stress, loss of job, stress
June 26th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Hi MJ,
You have such great insights on this. I have felt all of what you mention.
You really cut to the core of the issue.
Love,
Candace
June 27th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
MJ,
Your points are very good and certainly encourage everyone to step back and evaluate the challenging personal circumstances each is dealing with.
Richard
June 27th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
MJ….. GOD’s special ANGEL, always doing HIS work in caring for the hearts of HIS people, and the things that cause us to struggle. Nuggets of wisdom to point the weary in the right direction….I sent it to my son. Thanks MJ….
Love you, bet xox
June 30th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
Thank you, Richard. Oftentimes we go along in life without taking a minute to go inside and ask what do we really want? What do we really need?
“One life to live” isn’t just the title of a soap opera! What is our passion and how can we incorporate it in our every day world? Now there’s the question!
MJ
December 31st, 2009 at 4:29 am
MJ,
Beautiful post!! It encompasses the emotional factors as well as the practical aspects. Great reminder that we can be proactive and diligent even while we are grieving a part of life that was gone/ taken away. By taking case of all these issues you have mentioned, it makes it possible for one to truly close one chapter of his or her life and move on… actually take control of one’s life rather than stay as a passive victim.
Of course- it’s a great reminder for me to realize how blessed I am that I still have my job that I enjoy so much and love so dearly!!
Love, Nana
February 16th, 2010 at 8:51 am
Great article, thanks for sharing. I’ve also started a blog for people searching for jobs.
February 19th, 2010 at 11:32 pm
Hi Earl,
People will find you by seeing your link and your website on tips for resume writing which will be a very good thing!
My husband and I work with a support group at our parish for people in transition or looking for work and so far 4 people have found employment in the last 6 months. That might sound like much but I think given where they were it is encouraging and they are happy.
MJ
March 10th, 2010 at 9:22 pm
Nice blog, thank you! I really like it!
April 23rd, 2010 at 6:50 pm
Hi there, I found your blog via Google while searching for first aid for a heart attack and your post looks very interesting for me.
April 23rd, 2010 at 7:28 pm
Thank you and I hope you weren’t searching because you had a heart attack or someone you care about. Heaven knows the stress of being unemployed probably puts so much pressure on one for sure that’s why we must do things that help, like volunteering.
Honestly, I’ll write more on that later, because it’s so good for our health and self-esteem anytime but particularly when identity around a job in involved.
May 14th, 2010 at 6:19 pm
Admiring the time and effort you put into your blog and detailed information you offer! I will bookmark your blog and have my children check up here often. Thumbs up!
May 14th, 2010 at 8:07 pm
Great article, thanks for the share. Blog bookmarked
June 1st, 2010 at 6:28 pm
There are certainly a lot of details to take into consideration for job searching. Great points you bring up. I agree with the thoughts above as general inspiration but clearly there are questions like the one you bring up where the most important thing will be working in honest good faith. I don’t know if the best practices have emerged around things like that yet, but I am sure that your job is clearly identified as trying to discover them.
June 1st, 2010 at 8:34 pm
Thanks, Juan, looking for work is a challenge. Keeping our jobs without getting too afraid is also a challenge.
I advise everyone to take a look around at all of their ’stuff’ and see what can be sold or donated. It will help a little financially and spiritually, too. Everyone feels better when they help out someone else.
July 13th, 2010 at 6:20 pm
I appreciate that compliment. I should do more given I see so many people struggling financially these days. I’ll work on it.
My publisher, Sarah Ban Breathnach, will have her newest book published this December, Peace and Plenty, so keep an eye out for it. You can actually pre-order on Amazon. She will be addressing these difficult times.
July 30th, 2010 at 10:39 am
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August 24th, 2010 at 10:56 pm
BECAUSE OF TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES I AM POSTING
Cheri’s “Notes from Around the Block”
“These tools for managing job loss are so lovingly and clearly stated, they should be required reading. Most of them apply for any significant loss.
Grieving a loss is important. Sometimes, we don’t realize that we have lost something meaningful until dark feelings set in.
Did I tell you that Queen Joan had a small stroke three days after we moved her into her new apartment at the retirement home? I am currently grieving the loss of the mother whom I have known. She’s OK, but her memory has suffered from this latest incident.
My way, of course, is to write about it and discover all this loss has to teach me.
I hope you are well and miss you.
Cheri”
August 24th, 2010 at 10:59 pm
Dear Cheri,
I am so sorry to hear about your mom, the one and only Queen Joan whom Sage Dragon comes by to cheer on and acknowledge for her beauty and her courage. She has had such hard times to manage after being on the road that day and that awful driver who hit her and now this. I’m so glad that she has you helping to make new memories. Try singing a familiar song in her ear and if it makes you weep, weep for your loss for you are correct, we need to grieve when loss hits hard and fast.
I had read through one of your other posts to learn about Joan’s stroke, it may have been on Nurse Ratched. I wanted to write something to distract you from your pain which is sometimes a good thing (distraction) as long as we know that the other person realizes we are in pain.
I give you a hug for your great pain, Cheri, particularly for Joan’s memory. I’m sure it’s all frightening, too.
I always hope if God removes my memory he takes only the bad feelings and old resentments and leaves all the rest there.
Peace Sister Cheri,
MJ
August 25th, 2010 at 5:42 am
from Cheri
http://www.cheriblocksabraw.com |
“Joan is still her pleasant and courageous self!
I took over a hummingbird feeder last week and she is so enjoying watching them feed.
Today, I shall buy a bird feeder, so the finches will arrive.
She has so much love and support; we are all doing our best. Judge Blah carried up an old curio cabinet that we have had in our basement. It’s tiny, lights up all crystal, and looks like a little shrine in the corner.
Thanks for your sweet words.
The Nurse Ratched post was all about anger. It felt great to write and throw the anger through the window with the Chief.
August 25th, 2010 at 11:25 pm
Cheri,
Technical issues resolved!
A niger thistle seed feeder (wow, say that 5 times fast!) will bring in the Gold Finch quickly but one must keep the seed fresh for these birds know what they like and they don’t like seed which turns wet and sour. I’m a little like that.
Kisses to Joan!