When Every Day Matters - 4-20-2010
Let me share with you, my soon to be faithful bloggers, that my book, When Every Day Matters: A Mother’s Memoir on Love, Loss and Life entered the world on October 1, 2008. At that moment it was no longer be mine and I will refer to it as “The Book”. In this book I invite you to accompany my intimate walk with my beautiful daughter Katie, a formidable, courageous and wise young woman who for 10 years battled a brain tumor. And while Katie left her earthly life at 28 years of age, you will come to experience how Katie Brant accomplished a hundred lifetimes of good. This memoir is spiritual, psychological and heart-felt. Many colleagues who have read When Every Day Matters said that not only is it a powerful book which discusses soulful issues, but it is so compelling it reads as a novel.
Questions of faith are addressed in this book, hard questions about how we can continue our lives when we have suffered incalculable loss and what part our faith actually plays into the decision to stay in our lives. In this book I draw on my 30 years experience as a practicing psychotherapist and certified group psychotherapist and I examine the psychological aspects of our life and death struggle. I also felt it important and necessary to speak candidly about the family issues that surround a family during times of crisis and loss. I think it takes great authenticity and integrity to live our own life and not someone else’s idea of what our life should be.
Because of that belief I encourage my reader to do just that. I also reveal how I fought to regain the life that I had in front of me. We all know that after a devastating loss the journey to recovery is a lonely one, but you don’t have to walk it alone. I would like to walk with you as a companion out of the darkness of life’s most bewildering experiences and into the light of day. I understand completely that none of us can get over our losses until we go through them. I would like to be your guide to the other side of life, to the other side of your loss. I hope that you will allow me. Until then, try to keep up your heart, hold onto your faith and make Your Every Day Matter.
April 20, 2010
Life is such a gift to us don’t you think? Nevertheless, I’ve seen many people avoid it out of fear. Fear that they will fail, fear that they will be told “Who do you think that you are?” Fear that they will look like a dreamer, a fool or a spoiled child.
Years from now that dream will be buried in a box called regret. Regret that you didn’t take that trip, that you didn’t buy that little cottage on the sea, that you didn’t make an investment in yourself and go back to school, ask that woman to marry you, tell that guy you were madly in love with him.
I want to encourage you now to find someone to share your dream with. Find that person or persons who can tell you that you can do it and maybe even show you how to implement the steps or point you to someone who can help you take the next step whether personally, professionally or both.
I’m excited for you. I’m blowing away any fear you may have as I write because I know you want to make your life the event you have prayed for so just pick up that phone or write that e-mail to someone who will help you to make your dream come true, someone who believes in you, maybe someone spiritually inclined and not full of fear, someone who will help you to make your Every Day Matter.
Tags: dream come true, fear, gift of life, Grief, hope, life, loss, loss of child, love, recovery, When Every Day Matters
September 16th, 2008 at 5:19 am
Congratulations MJ!!!! I am so excited to begin the pages of “The Book.” I believe God sent you to me … for your love and compassion continues to give me strength and gratitude for today. I have a feeling Katie and Jodi connected us for a much greater purpose. Thank you for sharing your daughter to me and the world. Please sign my copy!!
September 16th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Thank you, Peg, amazing woman who helps us literally stay in shape at your wonderful gym and health facility. Absolutely your beautiful daughter Joi and Katie brought us together to do some good in this world! They want us to focus on life and love and all things good that really matter. They work from the other side now with a much greater perspective. Keep those big brown eyes smiling.
September 21st, 2008 at 1:49 am
MJ!
THE BOOK is here! Congratulations! I preordered it and just finished reading it in a day. After the tears stopped, it was so wonderful to just sit back and take the time to remember all of the incredible things about Katie both before and after her illness. Much love to you now and always, thanks so much for sharing your struggles and successes with all of us. Go Katie B!!
XO Karla
September 21st, 2008 at 4:02 am
MJ,
Thank you for one of the most beautiful and compelling pieces of literature that I have ever had the pleasure of reading. You have always been a hero to me. I only wish that I had known Katie during her life here on Earth. I feel privilaged to get to know her now, through your beautiful stories about her. To say that she was an amazing woman really doesn’t do her justice. She was and continues to be an inspiration to women, and really, to the entire human race. She certainly did accomplish in her short life, what most people are never able to do.
I wish I still lived near you so I could give you a huge hug and say, “Congratulations” Please know that your book has and will continue to touch so many people in so many different ways. I am proud to say that I know and love you.
Love and blessings,
Rachel
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:18 am
Hi Aunt Mary Jane! We are all so proud of you! I am spreading the word out here in Vegas! Can’t wait to read it! Love you, Christina
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:58 am
When Every Day Matters was officially released nationwide today. It is a dream come true for me. I’m blown away from all of the excitement from Sarah Ban Breathnach’s announcement, my loving family and friends’ support, my woman’s groups, especially Powerful You! Their founders Sue Urda & Kathy Flyer are promoting the message of the book so that we can give voice to the broken-hearted. Then our hearts can begin to mend; then we can pick up the next chapter in our lives, look over our shoulder and say, “Well, what next, God? Show me what you have in store for me now.”
October 4th, 2008 at 12:29 am
http://www.philly.com/philly/news/local/30082759.html
..think they got it right, about her, and about you. You are amazing. She’s been with me all day today (smiling, as always).
October 4th, 2008 at 1:46 am
Hunter, our favorite sailor of all time, thank you for putting up this link. It’s very cool and quite frankly, so are you in addition to being such a good friend to our dear Katie.
October 13th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Dear MJ,
Did yo know that we were kindred spirits and that your book came into life when God thought I would need it? My son’s girlfriend of 3.5 years, Katie, broke off with my son Matt nine weeks ago and as I read your initial web site excerpt from the book I was grieving the loss of the relationship we all had with her.
This past week Matt’s two year old dog suddenly became ill and Katie re entered his life. Yesterday they shared his eunthenization together in a garden at the Veterinary hospital and brought him home here where we laid him to rest (with my husband and son digging the grave, while Katie and I assisted with raising the rock from the core that became his gravestone)
After our final parting words (I like you wanted to say something aloud while the others said something to themselves as they placed flowers on the grave) we shared our Sunday meal and our sorrow. After the day was done I sat to meditate on the day and give gratitude for the dog’s place in our lives and for the return of Katie back into our family. I then opened my new copy of your book. I reread Chapter One and finished with Chapter Two and the loss of your own dear “Beaut.” Your words provided the inspiration I would need this morning to write to both Matt and Katie.
Thank you for sharing your words, your pain and your insights…I pray that in your sharing, healing will abide in your heart.
Fondly,
Annie Dolan
November 10th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Moments ago I finished the book. I am emotionally spent but still so grateful for having had the privilege of witnessing what is possible for the human spirit in spite of being faced with loss, pain, death and horrific helplessness. What an amazing woman and mother you are, MJ! And what a remarkable spirit Katie will always be for those who were blessed to know her through these pages. I am grateful for the opportunity to choose to live with more courage, to challenge perceived limitations and to embrace what had been remote possibilities in my life because I am so humbled by Katie and by you. You were angels for each other and are becoming angels for all who will be touched by this beautiful book. God Bless You for finding the courage to share this difficult but beautiful story. You are, indeed, living your purpose.
With love and gratitude,
Michele Maddox
November 18th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Dear MJ,
What a beautiful and compelling book you have written! It was an emotional experience for me knowing full well the road you traveled. It is amazing how we got through it all.
I really enjoyed getting to know Katie. She and Jill were very much alike. Two lively young women and kindred spirits battling against time. How fortunate we were to be chosen as their mothers!
I’m so glad you have found and are fulfilling your purpose. Katie would be so proud of you!
Love always,
Jan C
November 20th, 2008 at 7:23 am
Jan,
Your darling Jill, accomplished nurse, beautiful young woman, taken far too soon from our world, is helping her patients from the other side now and ministering to their each and every need.
You were the mother who loved her well.
I am blessed that our paths have crossed for a higher purpose. Thank you for your thoughts.
Love,
MJ
November 25th, 2008 at 12:51 am
MJ, As you know, I lost my darling daughter two years ago and frankly, I feel like I’ll never be the same. After reading your wonderful book and taking it all in I’m encouraged that someday I will feel like living again. Your very candid and painful account of Katie’s illness and the crushing journey you and your family took with her truly dug into my soul. Your reflections were right on the mark. I read them over and over again. Katie was your angel, and you were hers. She was very blessed to have such a devoted mother and father. I have recommended your book to everyone I know for a variety of reasons. MJ. let us hear more from you. You are a beautiful and captivating writer. Love, Gail
December 18th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
First of all congratulation for such a great site. I learned a lot reading article here today. I will make sure i visit this site once a day so i can learn more.
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:07 am
Thank you for stopping, Edward. How did you find When Every Day Matters? People from all over the world are stopping by with their thoughts and their gratitude.
January 10th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Dear MJ,
I just finished reading “When Every Day Matters,” and it has left a deep impression and has moved me beyond words. Katie has already inspired me to do something that I would not have done otherwise; I forged ahead and just did it! MJ, you are the writer you are and a beautiful writer at that. Your words are deeply moving and comforting. I’ve been to several of the places you have travelled, as many of us have, so please know you have, yet, another friend.
Thank you for your inscription in the book–a precious gift from you, to Caroline, to me. With my gratitude and love,
Andrea
February 13th, 2009 at 9:08 am
Love and Peace to All Caregivers!
If you are presently a caregiver, or if you were a caregiver, this message is for you. If you are a mom or dad who does a thousand, unnoticed, wonderful things remember you noticed and that counts.
If you are clergy caring for a congregation, a day care worker protecting a toddler, the chief of police caring for your team, a nurse, a teacher, a physician, a soldier looking out for his buddy, a boss on a construction site watching out for everyone’s safety, a therapist offering support, or a health care provider who takes care of others but left yourself off the list, try not to forget yourself today even if to say, “Good job, my friend, good job.”
If you are or were a caregiver for an aging parent, or a sick child, a terminally ill family member or friend, please appreciate that when you do a service for someone else you are a giver. There is great meaning in that. There is enormous and universal purpose in that. Where would any of us be without the givers in our lives?
And you know something else? Besides doing a really good thing, you’ve lessened someone else’s load today and that made today meaningful, that made today matter.
Peace,
MJ
March 1st, 2009 at 2:57 pm
I really like your blog template, is makes it simple to navigate.
April 18th, 2009 at 4:32 am
There is obviously a lot to know about this. I believe you created exceptional solid points on the subject.
April 25th, 2009 at 9:18 am
I was wondering if you could set up some sort of system so when your publish a new article, i get emailed to alert me?
June 13th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
Great post! I’ll subscribe right now wth my feedreader software!
June 14th, 2009 at 1:14 am
Thank you, Jane, I’m looking forward to you coming by again and sending lovely people over who want to share what is on their heart.
September 29th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
psychotherapist…
I don’t normally comment on blogs but your post was a real call to action. Thank you for a great read….
September 30th, 2009 at 4:33 am
Dear Psychotherapist,
I’ve just spent some time reading your very impressive website and I would be delighted to hear from you about what’s happening in the UK regarding loss and the tools that could help the readers of When Every Day Matters.
Thank you so much for stopping by.
MJ
January 29th, 2010 at 6:02 am
Sounds like an encouraging and valuable book. Your first paragraph above really hooked me.
January 29th, 2010 at 6:39 am
Hi Sheila,
Thank you for saying that. I’ve looked at your lovely site and would enjoy commenting but silly me, I couldn’t find the comment page.
If you direct me I will be there in a heartbeat!
MJ
March 12th, 2010 at 12:57 am
By far the most concise and up to date information I have found on this topic. Sure glad that I navigated to your page by accident. I’ll be subscribing to your feed so that I can get the latest updates. Appreciate all the information here.
April 9th, 2010 at 5:26 pm
Thank you, Kristeen Neyland, if I had more time I would post every day but look around at the others posts and see if something else catches your eye.
May 25th, 2010 at 4:23 am
I lost my Daughter Annie at age 30 after she lived on life support for 3 1/2 months . It has been a year and 5 months since she passed away …I was told it will be easier in time …and yet sometimes it hurts so much …I don’t want to breathe …I do of course ..It was recommended to me to read your book …I will look for it . I do not like to be a depressing influence in this life …loosing Annie has changed so much ! I will say good bye for now …Many Blessings of Love To All <3
May 25th, 2010 at 5:30 am
Dear dear Peggy Wycoff,
It is so very new and traumatic in your grief journey. It won’t be easier for a very long time….I wish I didn’t have to say that but history, my personal history and that of so many mothers that I know share this knowledge.
So much trauma. She was close to Katie’s age. Your Annie 30, Katie 28.
We will be in touch for a long time. That’s a promise. Get some rest tonight. The body is exhausted when grieving.
Peace to you,
MJ
May 31st, 2010 at 2:08 am
You can definitely see your enthusiasm in the work you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to say what they believe.
Always go after your heart.
May 31st, 2010 at 3:17 am
Thank you, Magaly,
Enthusiasm from the Greek source is enthousiazein, to be inspired by a God. May that always be what inspires my heart.